Remember back when Will Smith was good? Remember when he was pure charisma? You know, before GI Jane sucked his soul out and left him a husk of man.
Remember when New York was good? You know, back when the image movies presented of New York being clean, friendly, and crime-free, while far from accurate, at least were good enough to be believable for one movie?
Let’s go back to 2005, back when New York was great, back when Will Smith was great—back when comedies were funny! Let’s go back to 2005, Kevin James’ breakout movie (as I understand it), Hitch—and I’ll finish this rhyme somehow, sonny.
Overview of Hitch
What is It?
Dating coach Alex “Hitch” Hitchens mentors a bumbling client, Albert, who hopes to win the heart of the glamorous Allegra Cole. While Albert makes progress, Hitchens faces his own romantic setbacks when proven techniques fail to work on Sara Melas, a tabloid reporter digging for dirt on Allegra Cole’s love life. When Sara discovers Hitchens’ connection to Albert—now Allegra’s boyfriend—it threatens to destroy both relationships.
Hitch is a romantic comedy where Will Smith plays Hitch, a date doctor (for men) whose goal is to remove the barriers that prevent women and men from being able to see each other, and love each other. His biggest challenge comes in the form of Albert, a lovable, bumbling goofball who has fallen in love with the wealthy and famous Allegra Cole; before long, Hitch’s own dating woes threaten to destroy both men’s love lives.
Who Wrote It?
Hitch‘s contributing creative forces, like most movies, are long…
- Writer: Kevin Bisch
- Director: Andy Tennant (Ever After: A Cinderella Story)
- Starring: Will Smith (Fresh Prince), Eva Mendes (Ghost Rider),1 Kevin James (Paul Blart: Mall Cop), Amber Valleta (model), Michael Rapaport, and Adam Arkin
- Edited: Troy Takaki, Tracey Wadmore-Smoth
- Production Company: Columbia Pictures, Overbrook Entertainment
- Distributed: Sony Pictures
Hitch was originally released February 11th, 2005.
Content Warnings
Hitch is a PG-13 romantic comedy that, unfortunately, makes use of its one F-word. Profane language beyond that isn’t a constant throughout the movie, but those sensitive to middle-weight swearing and crude language will have their uncomfortable moments.
Some sexual references and innuendo, some of which imply story beats (such as a man and woman being seen in bed together, covered by a blanket), some of which are just the way characters talk with each other, and some of which are played for comedy (such as Albert getting his pants wet, taking them off to dry them, and briefly, accidentally, walking out of the bathroom pantless).
The General Review (Mild Spoilers)
I don’t remember laughing so hard in a long time. Not through the entirety of the movie, but at the moments that mattered.
Here’s the story behind my rewatch of Hitch: my wife and I sat down to watch Kevin James’ recent film, Solo Mio, and I made a comment along the lines of, “I really like Kevin James. I’m pretty sure he made it big because of Hitch.”
My wife said: “What’s Hitch?”
I immediately turned off Solo Mio—we’ll return to it later—and started up Hitch. No regrets.
I started out this review, in my little attention-grabbing intro, with some pointed jabs, and I want to point out that they are entirely sincere—Will Smith is amazing in Hitch, and this movie made me miss back when I was excited to see Will Smith attached to a project. He’s extremely believable, extremely likable, and extremely charismatic. His cool, suave presentation also plays off Kevin James’ bumbling physical comedy perfectly—it’s a combination like chocolate and peanut butter. Is it Smith’s best movie or performance? Eh—probably not. But I don’t care. It’s easily one of my personal favorites.
In a similar vein, New York really feels like a land of opportunity in Hitch. The streets aren’t obnoxiously crowded, the city is clean, traffic is manageable—it reminded me of back when it was easy to believe that the Big Apple wasn’t covered in bruises.
Both of these factors combine to create an engaging sense of optimism that fills much of Hitch, an optimism that has aged really well—and largely doesn’t exist in modern movies. It adds a lot of warmth to many character interactions, and it couples with the earnestness and sincerity of James’ Albert very nicely—man! Anyone who doesn’t actively root for our bumbling secondary protagonist has a heart of stone.
The leading ladies don’t shirk, either. Sara, having been hurt badly herself—and having spent most of her time focused on the ugliest sides of “love,” thanks to being a gossip reporter—is very cynical, and seeing her come out of her shell is a lot of fun. She’s contrasted wonderfully by Allegra, who, despite seeming elevated and unapproachable in so many ways, is actually just as much a goofball as Albert is, and seeing her come out of her shell is just precious.
The plot is also pretty good, too—I was engaged the entire time, didn’t feel any particular slumps. The story focuses on Albert a little less than I’d like toward the end, and some of the final conflicts, as with most romantic comedies, would be easily solved by a little better communication between the romantic couples—but I wasn’t bothered by that fact in Hitch. I was happily along for the ride and, for the most part, felt that the illogical actions of certain characters made sense for who they were and their situations. It’s nice when a movie doesn’t need to explain every character action—and justification for said actions—down to the minutia.
And, good gravy—I said it already, but this movie is funny. There are a few good one-liners, but I was laughing the hardest at the physical comedy of Kevin James… and Will Smith. Turns out, have Will Smith look like he’s swelling up from an allergic reaction, then make him act drunk from Benadryl, and you’re in for a good time.
Seeing the juxtaposition between Hitch’s two sides—a cool-as-a-cucumber date guru who is a total trainwreck in his own dating life—also naturally leads to hilarioty.
To be short in writing, I had a great time.
Wrapping Up
Hitch is not going to change your life, and it’s not setting out to. It’s a fun, light movie, but it’s not a forgettable movie—after all, it’s over twenty years old and I’m still thinking about it. I highly recommend giving it a try, particularly if you’re looking for a simple date night.
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If you would like to read some interesting fiction, or just support an indie author, please consider checking out one of my novels! The Failed Technomancer is a post-apocalyptic science fiction story where zombie-like robots are eating people; Inner Demon is a found family fantasy about a girl with amnesia who needs to save a friend from disappearing.
- Also, extremely respectably, Eva Mendes appears to have stepped away from the limelight and is fully focused on family. Hats off to her! ↩︎
Boo Ludlow 
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